Saturday, August 29, 2009

No Qualms in saying NO !!

It was a bright serene Sunday afternoon, just the right ambience to study for my upcoming CAT 2005 exams. Just as I was going to concentrate on the next set of geometry problems, my friends barged in spoiling the harmony in the room. They had planned for a movie, and they wanted me to join them. My continuous resisting didn’t have any effect in front of their pestering. Eventually I gave in, and tagged along.
No friends in case you think I m in IIM Bangalore, I couldn’t crack the CAT and one of the reasons behind it was my Qualms in saying NO. Yes, NO to my ever partying friends in their endeavors, No to my relatives for their ever occurring functions and no to numerous other such occasions.
This article is not about focusing on priorities or commitments but to elaborate on the fine art of saying NO so that you don’t have to compromise on your goals, but at the same time not hurt the feelings of your loved ones.
There are many occasions where to ensure that our family, friends or colleagues are not disappointed, we take involuntary actions. Appeasing others gives a lot of satisfaction & joy, but when these actions cost us personally, academically or professionally, they are just not worth it.
Swami Vivekananda before catering to any requests, would scale it with these 3 parameters
1. Is it benefiting me?
2. Is it benefiting someone else? OR
3. Is it a noble thing to do?
One should judge all such situations with these 3 constraints. The skill of saying no is not something which can be mouth fed at school or college or maybe corporate life but it’s an education which is acquired by experience. The significance of this ability can’t be explained, but has to be realized.
We Indians due to our politeness and the culture of Athithi Devasya ( Guest is god ) don’t have the heart to say no to our close ones or in that case even strangers. But beware this feebleness has to be disposed of, otherwise you will the victim of lack of concern of others. After all it’s your life and it’s you who will suffer and no one else.
I have learnt the lesson and hope would succeed in my missions in future.
But remember a thin line has to be drawn where one has to bear in mind that the zeal to achieve your aspirations cannot overpower the need to serve humanity.
So, next time someone comes to you with an unreasonable request/demand, GO AHEAD and say NO !!!

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Well written Amit
I think Indians need to get a little more assertive when they talk to others which is missing